Edmonton Couples Therapy
Edmonton Couples Therapy; The media can be a sinister agent in daily life, casting so many things in a bad or at least unfair light. Surely a prime example of this would be couples’ therapy. After watching any relatively modern sitcom, it’s easy to pick up on the idea that anyone needing therapy to live their partner must be pretty “messed up.” The truth is, anyone who always gets along famously with their partner is more likely at some risk. People do not get along 100% of the time. Any situation where this seems to be the case is heading for significant trouble soon enough.
There’s a romanticized idea about relationships, that being that when two people genuinely love each other, they kind of become one, never feeling complete again on their own. There is undoubtedly some truth level, as love is a powerful and still often-mysterious thing. However, the idea that a sense of true self is lost in this melding is ridiculous. A couple can compromise for shared goals, but personal desires, ambitions, and overall tastes don’t just get magically written over somehow.
Seeing a Problem
As said before, all couples will have conflict. Any human being who spends that much time around one another, sharing that limited amount of space, will eventually crash. Families argue and fight, friends and colleagues argue and fight, and yes, couples young and old fight. The real thing to consider is how much of a “fight” a conflict is. Simple debates/arguments or very briefly-raised voices, if not frequent, are just natural. This will happen, and if it’s resolved instantly and both parties regret the negativity, congratulations, you’re just a healthy couple.
When these little outbursts of conflict happen frequently or last for prolonged periods (often escalating), this is when you may have broader issues to address. Once more, this is natural and just part of being human. Even with shared goals and loves, people individually change and grow. Spouses are not the people they were when they first came together. This can result in people not synchronizing and harmonizing as they once did and clashing personalities to emerge. This can degrade a relationship, cultivate anger issues, depression, and even worse emotional disarray states. Those, in turn, will only exacerbate the conflicts further.
So, you’ve found yourself in a situation where you dread returning home to a partner you once missed every second of the day. Resentment and hostility have grown between you, negativity permeating a home that was once filled with love. It’s like sinking in quicksand, and the more you both struggle, the more your relationship unravels.
It’s time to see a professional. Instead of regarding this as a failure, see it as a chance to get a much-needed tune-up. Like machinery, relationships are complicated, and tiny things going wrong can have a domino effect. Professional psychotherapists can diagnose the sources of these problems, empowering their clients to effect repairs. Conflict within a relationship often comes down to three leading causes. Chief among these is lack of communication. Much like anger issues, suppressing feelings can breed resentment, which finally boils over into conflict. Establishing a sincere rapport between yourself and your partner in a safe environment should always be the priority.
A skilled psychotherapist will establish that honest rapport, allowing the clients to, under their agency, show who they indeed are to their partners and to understand their partners on the same level. They will provide insight into how various facets revealed may be causes of ongoing conflict and counsel both partners to reach mutual solutions to these issues.
If your relationship is experiencing ongoing difficulty, first, sit with your partner and acknowledge this outright. Both of you need to accept and take responsibility for the relationship being in a poor state. From there, hold your heads up high, knowing you’re doing the right thing by accepting the need for help and then pursuing it. Remember, when you’re unhappy in an unhappy relationship, it affects both of your mind, body, and spirit. It doesn’t stop there, however. The mental illnesses that can be inflicted by ongoing bad relationships will also impact your work life, your relationship with your friends, and especially your family. Seeking help to set a relationship back on course isn’t just the right thing for you and your partner, but everyone in your life. Don’t lose the most important person in your world simply because you’ve misinterpreted a need for help as some personal failure or source of shame. Couples’ therapy can and will help if you and your partner are willing to help yourselves. Edmonton Counselling Services provides private couples therapy in person and online.