Why Is The Spark Fading In My Relationship And What Can I Do About It?
One of the most common complaints that couples have is the loss of spark in a relationship. They often chalk it up to slowly growing apart or differences or often, extreme familiarity. This “staleness” often creeps up into relationships after a few months or even years. Couples often lose hope and start looking for extramarital affairs to fulfill their need for intimacy. However, there are a few definitive causes of why this happens. At Edmonton Counselling services, I can help guide you through what causes the lack of intimacy in your relationship. By using a couples therapy and intimacy therapy, I can help you find the spark back in your relationship.
What does “intimacy therapy” mean?
To understand what intimacy therapy means, it is essential to understand the idea of the “fantasy bond.” This refers to an illusion of closeness that allows the couple to maintain an imaginary loving relationship. The couples, in the meanwhile preserve emotional distance. When this illusion pops, people realize that there is no real intimacy between them. The energy, affection, and independence once felt are now gone. You may start losing yourself as well as your partner in the quest to fuse your identities. These lead to losing those unique qualities that attracted the partner initially. At Edmonton Counselling Services, I can help you restore these feelings and emotions to help restore the magic.
Do I need intimacy therapy?
It can be quite challenging to identify that you are in the fantasy bond. If you are not sure whether you need intimacy therapy or not, here are a few signs to look out for.
Loss of Physical Attraction and Intimacy-
- Couples often tend to experience a loss of physical attraction towards each other in a relationship. As they begin to fuse with their partners, it puts a significant toll on the relationship. They start seeing their partners as an extension of themselves, and as such, they lose that chemistry. At Edmonton Counselling services I can help you view your partner as an attractive individual to restore your spark.
- Couples often forget to maintain their separateness and to pursue what makes them happy as individuals. This leads to a loss of attraction that comes from the drive that comes from their uniqueness. Maintaining their individuality can help you regain the intimacy within your relationship.
Disregard for physical or mental health-
- When people reach a certain level of comfort in a relationship, they often care less about looks and hygiene. They usually gain weight or engage in an unhealthy lifestyle of drinking and low levels of exercise. These are often acts that protect us from closeness and shatter our self-esteem.
Mundane routine life-
- In the early stages of a relationship, people try new things and share new experiences. With routine and ordinary life, couples forget the need to share these new adventures with their significant others.
- This doesn’t mean only talking about practical stuff. When was the last time you truly conversed about something meaningful? Couples often find they don’t speak anymore which can lead to a loss of intimacy. I can help you with communication counselling to enable meaningful conversations to ensure increased intimacy.
- Holding on to anger- Couples find themselves holding on to the negative traits of their partners and building a case against them. This can be extremely harmful and can cause alienation and bitterness among partners. If you find yourself holding on to anger, visit me at Edmonton Counsellors today.
When should I visit the therapist?
If you experience any of the signs stated above or feel the distance in your relationship, see a therapist. At Edmonton Counselling, I can help you with my years of experience in couples counseling. By helping you understand your relationship issues, I can help you understand ways to bring the spark back.